Monday, July 7, 2008

Invite God to The Party

Oney was our baby that gave us the most worries. Before he was born I had the tests done for Down Syndrome and Spina Bifida. The same tests I had with all my other children.

When I got the call from my Doctor’s office and the women on the phone told me that I needed to come to the office right away is a day I will always remember.

I rushed to the office and sat in the room waiting for my Doctor to come in. My heart was racing; I already had tears in my eyes. The doctor came in; he sat down and told me the tests had come back positive. It could mean Down Syndrome or Spina Bifida.

At that moment I became a hysterical pregnant woman. I was crying so hard I could not catch my breath. All I Could think of was that my perfect little baby was hurt, and there was nothing I could do about it.

The Doctor tried to reassure me but I could not process anything he was saying. I went home and called Big D, still hysterical, I am sure he could not fully understand what I was trying to say. Being my Knight in shining armor that he is, he rushed home and went to the Doctors office to get the full rational story.

We decided to get the amino test done to see if this was really what was going on. I needed to know because I was so distraught and depressed. I needed to know what was happing to my son so I could be prepared and come to terms with it.

We had to wait two weeks before we took the test; during that time I was a depressed emotional wreck. I turned to God and prayed like I have never prayed before. All I could think about was what was happening to my baby, and I prayed constantly every day.

I met an acquaintance who had a child with Down Syndrome, when I told her what was happening to us her first words were, “Congratulations, they are a blessing.” To be honest I got a little angry at her statement. I started to get angry with anyone who said things like, “You will love him just the same.” “Everything happens for a reason” and so on. I was sad, deflated and angry. I also felt guilty for having these emotions. I felt I was giving the impression that children with Downs were not satisfactory. I prayed even harder. God did lift that anger, and I began to feel comfort in people’s reassuring words. I felt so close to God even though I was suffering so much.

After the test was done we found out that in fact Oney was a healthy baby boy. I thanked God and my constant prayer stopped. My happy content life returned to normal and my prayer life diminished.

When Oney was a month old he developed RSV. The morning I found him cold and limp will also live in my memory forever. When Big D and I were in the hospital rubbing Oney’s little body to get him to start breathing again will never be forgotten.

Seeing my sweet little boy with a breathing tube and a feeding tube not knowing when or if I would ever take him home was something that tore my heart right out of me.

Again I turned to God. Constant prayer is what kept me from lying in bed and not getting up. Constant prayer helped me to be a mom to my other children, to get through Christmas without my little boy. God was with me I could feel him all around me.

We were finally able to take Oney home, I thanked God and my life went back to normal. Once again my constant prayer stopped.

"Watch ye, therefore, praying at all times, that you may be accounted worthy to escape all these things that are to come and to stand before the Son of man." -Luke 21:36

What does praying at all times mean? It seems that the only time I did this was when tragedy struck, when God was the only person I could cling to. What about the times when life is a party, when things are good and God’s blessings are apparent? I have learned through tragic events that yes, even when life is a party I must invite God into my life through prayer.

I believe if my prayers never ceased through the good times, when the bad times came around I would not be searching so fervently for God. I would not in a frantic haste pray for Him to be at my side, because I would know that He has been there all along.

I don’t think I can say this enough, children can teach us so many things about God. They are blessing from God for a good reason. Children help us to understand what “Pray always” means. I have been blessed to have a life that is most of the time a party, having been blessed with that type of life I feel it is my obligation to continue to pray always, everyday for God’s grace, for others, for family and for the world.

God wants to be in my life when things are going great. Just as much as he wants to be my rock when things are going wrong. I won’t forget this. I will take what my little son has taught me. God will be there always through prayer when I am down and need Him. He will also be there when Life is wonderful because I will still need Him.

I look to God to help others and me out of the darkness; I will also remember to invite him to the party.


8 comments:

Jeanette said...

I love your post on constant prayer. I have a daughter who is about to turn one year old in a few weeks. She was born with Down Syndrome and I went through similar emotions, etc that you did. Obviously our outcome was different, but my reaction was the same... pray pray pray. God was the only one that I could cling to, since He is the only one who has control of this crazy life. I remember putting my emotions, fears, concerns etc. into His hands because I was not strong enough on my own (or with my husband) to handle it. We needed God and He came through with brilliant colors. We considered ourselves lucky to know ahead of time, so that we could prepare ourselves and our family and friends. Sydney came into the world into a loving family and support circle and truly is a blessing. Blessings to you and your family. Wonderful story!

Soul Pockets said...

jeanette, thank you for your wonderful comment.

Motherhood for Dummies said...

oh my gosh. You have been through so much. And it is sooo true that we need ot turn to God and not just in times of trial and stress but always and you are an amazing example of that... thank you

Ginny said...

Great post. So true!

Christine said...

Isn't prayer a funny thing. I read a book about suffering written by Jeff Cavins and there are many stories in there about people and their lives and clinging to prayer.

One story was about a couple who had their little girl murdered when she was on her paper route. They were devout and I mean devout Catholics and the story is so hard to read when they are praying so hard that they will find their little girl safe and sound. She wasn't found safe. Why I always wonder......why would that happen to them. Why? They prayed so hard. I sometimes wonder even if I pray will my prayers be answered. That is why I just trust. And it is so hard to do that.

Thanks for sharing your story.

SissyMerks said...

There is so much truth in this. I am trying to better and be thankful to him during the good times but usually lean heavily on my prayers and faith during the hard times.

Teri said...

Just found your blog linked to others. What a wonderfully true post! I am guilty of this, but am trying really hard to change my daily routine to include God in everything I do. Thanks for sharing your story.
Teri
fridayshirt.org

Cathy Adamkiewicz said...

Thanks for sharing this, friend. I wish I had known about this as you were going through it!

Such a good reminder to "pray always." As you know our family has been through a lot and I do cry out to God when I'm suffering. But like you I feel that despite our sufferings our lives are mostly a fantastic feast of fun!

Thank you Jesus for that!