Sunday, July 27, 2008

Visions of Babies Dance in my Head

I don’t know what it is about being around babies that makes me long to have another one. It may just be the normal time for me to want another child. I usually get these feelings when our youngest is close to turning two.

It does not help that five or so women I know have a new baby or are expecting one. My kids must know the drill that goes on in this house, they see that Oney is almost two and now Miss and Lil D keep talking about their new brother or sister we are going to have. They seem to know that this is the time when Mom and Dad usually announce that a new little one will be coming soon.

I cannot stop thinking about babies! I asked Big D if we were going to absolutely be done having kids. I was maybe hoping he would give me an absolute answer to put my thoughts to rest. Big D told me that we would make a final decision the day after Oney’s 2nd birthday. I have no idea why he said the day after, I just agreed.

So now I have a few months to be consumed with baby thoughts. In our family we stay open to new life. Still there are things we must consider to make a responsible decision on whether we should bring another baby into our family. The usual reasons money, time, and health.

I have some personal drawbacks that keep coming up. How will a new baby effect home schooling, What about our plans on getting these kids semi raised so Big D and I can fully enjoy each other? What about college? This last reason seems small but I can’t help cringe at the idea of all the doctor visits I will have to go to with four children at home and having to figure out what to do with them.

Then there are the pros. Being able to bring a new life into our family with God and the man I am absolutely head over heels for. The absolute love you have for a child and how each new baby magnifies that love. Brothers and sisters is one of the greatest gifts Big D and I can give to our children.

What am I to do?

I have a brand new niece. She is about 5 weeks old and in a couple of weeks I am going to take her home for the weekend. I know this is not the same as having my own baby 24 hours a day, but I am hoping this will help in our decision. Can we cope with a fifth child?
I have forgotten the details of having a newborn; I only remember the good things. God is good that way.

We will just have to wait and see what the future holds for our family. Meanwhile I am sure I will have baby on the brain and heart until a decision is made.


Pixilated Mum said...

Hello to my fellow contributing writing gal at THC.

This post is like reading aloud the stream of thoughts that I have when I see babies. Right now, in our homeschool group, we've a few moms with little ones. And my little one is two and a half. I get baby cravings at this time too.

I'll pray for you and your decision ... Pray for mine, too!

SissyMerks said...

I love the photo you chose to start off our post. I get baby fever quite often. Especially since my surgery. I think the fact that I can no longer have children makes me want another one even more. I am lucky enough to have a couple of friends who are either expecting or have very small children. I also have a toddler niece close by and a newborn niece and in a few months will have another newborn niece to visit. The only downfall with the last will be that my newest niece will live 13 hours away in Memphis. It's okay though. We will still try to see her as much as possible.