Sunday, July 27, 2008
Visions of Babies Dance in my Head
I don’t know what it is about being around babies that makes me long to have another one. It may just be the normal time for me to want another child. I usually get these feelings when our youngest is close to turning two.
It does not help that five or so women I know have a new baby or are expecting one. My kids must know the drill that goes on in this house, they see that Oney is almost two and now Miss and Lil D keep talking about their new brother or sister we are going to have. They seem to know that this is the time when Mom and Dad usually announce that a new little one will be coming soon.
I cannot stop thinking about babies! I asked Big D if we were going to absolutely be done having kids. I was maybe hoping he would give me an absolute answer to put my thoughts to rest. Big D told me that we would make a final decision the day after Oney’s 2nd birthday. I have no idea why he said the day after, I just agreed.
So now I have a few months to be consumed with baby thoughts. In our family we stay open to new life. Still there are things we must consider to make a responsible decision on whether we should bring another baby into our family. The usual reasons money, time, and health.
I have some personal drawbacks that keep coming up. How will a new baby effect home schooling, What about our plans on getting these kids semi raised so Big D and I can fully enjoy each other? What about college? This last reason seems small but I can’t help cringe at the idea of all the doctor visits I will have to go to with four children at home and having to figure out what to do with them.
Then there are the pros. Being able to bring a new life into our family with God and the man I am absolutely head over heels for. The absolute love you have for a child and how each new baby magnifies that love. Brothers and sisters is one of the greatest gifts Big D and I can give to our children.
What am I to do?
I have a brand new niece. She is about 5 weeks old and in a couple of weeks I am going to take her home for the weekend. I know this is not the same as having my own baby 24 hours a day, but I am hoping this will help in our decision. Can we cope with a fifth child?
I have forgotten the details of having a newborn; I only remember the good things. God is good that way.
We will just have to wait and see what the future holds for our family. Meanwhile I am sure I will have baby on the brain and heart until a decision is made.