Here Ya Go Kid

I love when prayers are answered! God has consistently answered my prayers during my life and sometimes I don't know it until I reflect back and see them answered.

I do become excited when I ask God for something and he drops it right on my lap, like He is saying, "Here ya go kid."

My family and I attended my first Tridentine Mass this past Sunday. All I can say is wow! The first thought that came to mind was, and they changed this Mass why? I do love the Mass we have now and I can always go to a Latin Mass when I want to, but this style of Mass really reached me.

This is where the answering of prayers comes in. This may sound silly because there are more important things to be praying for and I do pray for those things too, but I wanted to get out and visit the old churches of Detroit, go to more Latin Masses, be apart of it all.

Yesterday I found out that a home school group is going to Mass and getting a tour at a beautiful old church downtown and the kids and I were invited! Yay, but I don't really drive and can get lost going around the block. So I prayed that I would have the courage to get out there and just do it. If I got lost, I got lost. Well, my brother tells me that he has a GPS laying around that I can have! God is good!

Like I said this may sound silly, but if you knew me, you would know that me driving downtown alone is a feat. Not only has an opportunity to visit the church come up, but I now have a device that will keep me from freaking out.

I have been praying about Home school as well. The usual, asking for strength and courage. I also threw in that it would be great if I could meet more Catholic families, for encouragement, friendship, and just to be able to talk to people with the same ideas. Lo and behold I was invited to a group at a local parish for young Catholic families. We had our first outing and many more are planned. I am doing a happy dance!

Now I am waiting on the strength and courage to home school I have a feeling that prayer will be answered as I go along. That one is not as simple as a GPS. That prayer will take some work on my part.

We will see how my ride Downtown goes. I don't think asking St. Christopher for help would hurt any.

Peace

One Month

I have one month to go before I see my beautiful son. I have been doing some complaining these last couple of months, the swelling, weight gain, not being able to lay down when I want to. Having to go to the Doctors twice a week for non-stress tests is not fun, especially when I have to take the kids with me.

Now that the end is near I found myself thinking, what was I complaining about? This pregnancy wasn't so bad. It actually went by fast and was uneventful.

I don't know how things will go, if this will be the last time I am ever pregnant again. I really do not like being pregnant, but the thought of NEVER being pregnant again makes me feel a little sad.

Pregnancy and giving birth is a miraculous thing. There are sacrifices, pain, and worry, but then to think about the life that is created wipes everything bad away. God is so good and generous with His gifts. Even the ones that are wrapped in swollen ankles and stretch marks.

The Good and The Bad

We had a wonderful Easter. Lots of food, fun with the family, and candy as far as the eyes can see.

I think I did well during Lent. We stayed on our tight budget sacrificing every way we could. I slowed down during prayer and made it a point to pray more. Now that lent is over and Easter has come and gone it is important to continue what I started during Lent.

I would like to work on my attitude. My life is so blessed and I could not think of any other way I would rather live, so why do I find myself in a bad mood with a bad attitude more often than I would like to be? Maybe it is because I am not the person I really want to be and the only way to become that person is to surrender to God.

When I was in Church during the Easter season I looked around and I saw the statues and the crucifix covered in black drapes, no flowers, and things were really somber. I felt scared as I thought this is how life would be with out our Lord in it, dark and draped in blackness. I thanked God for being in my life and I could not wait for Easter morning when the Church would be full of life again.

As I pondered my attitude it came to me that I am at my worst when I drape a black cloth over our Lord and try to take control myself. It is the times when I shut Him out, not intentionally, but it is when I let myself belong to the world and my desires more than belonging to Him.

I want to feel like Easter morning. I know this can't be possible all the time, but it is worth a try to make it happen most of the time.

Can You Turn Off The Sun?

Bug and Oney were playing in their bedroom. The only light was coming from the sun shining through the window. Bug asked me if I could turn off all the lights, I told her they were off. She pointed to the window and I said that is the Sun. She then told me to go ahead and turn off the Sun.

It is funny how kids view their mom. In their eyes moms can do anything, even turn off the Sun. Mom will always be there, nothing bad can happen to mom.

I thought the same thing as a child. I saw my mom as someone who did not need rest, who did not need her own time, who was in all senses a super woman. Of course as I got older and became a mother myself I grew to know my mom as a women and a friend.

Feeling that I had a mature relationship with my mom I was surprised at my feelings of the news she gave me last week. During a doctor exam a lump was found. My mom, being the woman that she is was not going to tell me, but she needed a shoulder and I am so glad she came to me. I took her to the doctor and I was able to be with her while she had surgery. We will know the results this week.

I was surprised at my feelings because the first thing I thought was this could not be anything bad because nothing bad could happen to my mom. She is a strong super women and bad things just can not happen to her.

I had a lot of time to think about my mom and mothers in general and how the love they share with their children is indescribable. It scared me to think what the world would be like not to have my mom in it.

I thought about a mothers love and I realized that a mothers love is like a warm blanket wrapped around their children. No matter how old you get, if mom is near to you or far away, if you think about her you feel the ever present love around you. Would this blanket go away when mom left the world? Would I be left shivering in the cold? I am sure it would feel like that for a while but I firmly believe that mothers were put on this Earth to give us a tiny imperfect taste of God's love.

God is love, and the blanket I felt around me was His, even though he used my mother and her calling to help me to understand, it belongs to Him. And when the day comes that God calls my mom home I will not be in the cold because God's love is like a mothers but perfect in every way.

Things concerning my mom's health seem to be optimistic and she is doing well. Even though she is an imperfect human being and can not turn off the Sun, I will forever be grateful to her for answering the call to become a mother and to help me see the little glimpse of love God has for me and all his children.

Please pray for my mom's health and all mothers who do their best to let God shine through.

Martha or Mary?

One of my favorite bloggers Cathy at From the field of Blue Children has given me some thoughts about Lent.

Cathy's post Thanks is all about how little things like giving thanks to the Lord can mean so much.

After reading this post I started thinking about Jesus and when he went to the house of Mary and Martha. Martha kept busy cleaning, preparing food, and making the house perfect for her Lord. Mary sat at Jesus' feet and just wanted to be with him.

I am a lot like Martha. My family says Grace before every meal. Everyone sits at the table hands folded and gives thanks. I on the other hand am running around getting drinks, cleaning up messes, dishing out food while I am saying Grace.

While at Church or praying at home I always have my next task in the back of my mind. What do I have to do next, what do the kids need, what did my husband ask me to do?

I believe that Martha was doing what she thought was best to show Jesus how important he was. I think I can do that as well in my daily tasks but sometimes it is good to be Mary,to forget everything and put all of our attention on the Lord. Even if that means a quick little thank you to God or to others as Cathy mentioned in her post.

To be honest I think I will always be more like Martha, thinking about and praising God while my hands are busy, but I hope to let the quiet actions of Mary in as well.

Little Moments From God

Lil D is preparing to make his First Reconciliation. Yesterday we learned how to examine our conscience.

We went through the Ten Commandments and broke each one down to understand what each one means on kids terms.

It went something like this…

Me: “You shall have no other gods before me, that means to love God more than anything, like video games, playing, television etc…”

Me: “Keep the Sabbath day Holy means go to Mass with joy, pay attention and participate.”

We did this all the way down the list, when we were done there was silence. Then Miss spoke up.

Miss: “I think I need to go to Confession this Saturday.”

Me: “I think I do too.”

Fill It Up

Blaise Pascal wrote: “There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every person, and it can never be filled by any created thing. It can only be filled by God, made known through Jesus Christ.”

I am sure you have heard a few times that every person has a God shaped hole in their heart that can only be filled by God. What does this mean? I have thought about this for a while and have come to my own opinion to what this statement means to me.

In this world we are bombarded by quick fixes. If you feel empty or alone there are many things that can quickly lift your spirits for the short term.

Going by my own experiences there are people who find all kind of ways to fill these holes. Spending money on “things” that they think will make them happy. Using food as a way to calm their emotions and fill the empty hole. I have fallen into these ways of fulfillment myself and quickly realized that these ways do not fill up the empty feeling, they actually bring more emptiness.

Even relationships can be used to temporarily fill the hole from loneliness, and sadness. Couples that stay together when it is obvious that they are doing harm to one another. There is no care for the other’s spiritual well being. They help the other sin. Yet they stay together because the hole is being temporarily filled although they continue feeling lonely and hurt.

Children used to fill these empty holes in their parents would have to be the saddest example for me.

Then of course there are the addictions, drugs, alcohol, gambling etc…

How do I keep myself from falling into the traps laid out before us? My answer is God. Do people want to hear this answer? I don’t know, but it is the only one I have.

Did God give us this heart with the hole in it and just expect us to figure out how to fill it? When I give my simple answer of God to people with little or no faith how are they supposed to understand what I mean?

That is where the Sacraments and the Catholic Faith come in. I really can’t believe God would leave us wandering around wondering how we are to get Him to fill our empty hearts. What do we do?

As humans we love our senses. We like to see things happening, smell them, hear them, and feel them. God knows this, after all he knows everything and he made himself human, so He knows.

The Sacraments are just that, the real touchable presence of God. He has given us himself in such a way that we can see, feel, taste, and hear. God is not invisible; He can be touched with all your senses in the Catholic Church.

God clearly explained and showed us exactly how to fill up our hearts. It is not a guessing game or supposed to leave us in wonder. God is present in a special way through the Eucharist and in every other Sacrament. He is waiting to be taken into our hearts, to fill us with peace and joy. God waits there for us and always will.

Invite God to The Party

Oney was our baby that gave us the most worries. Before he was born I had the tests done for Down Syndrome and Spina Bifida. The same tests I had with all my other children.

When I got the call from my Doctor’s office and the women on the phone told me that I needed to come to the office right away is a day I will always remember.

I rushed to the office and sat in the room waiting for my Doctor to come in. My heart was racing; I already had tears in my eyes. The doctor came in; he sat down and told me the tests had come back positive. It could mean Down Syndrome or Spina Bifida.

At that moment I became a hysterical pregnant woman. I was crying so hard I could not catch my breath. All I Could think of was that my perfect little baby was hurt, and there was nothing I could do about it.

The Doctor tried to reassure me but I could not process anything he was saying. I went home and called Big D, still hysterical, I am sure he could not fully understand what I was trying to say. Being my Knight in shining armor that he is, he rushed home and went to the Doctors office to get the full rational story.

We decided to get the amino test done to see if this was really what was going on. I needed to know because I was so distraught and depressed. I needed to know what was happing to my son so I could be prepared and come to terms with it.

We had to wait two weeks before we took the test; during that time I was a depressed emotional wreck. I turned to God and prayed like I have never prayed before. All I could think about was what was happening to my baby, and I prayed constantly every day.

I met an acquaintance who had a child with Down Syndrome, when I told her what was happening to us her first words were, “Congratulations, they are a blessing.” To be honest I got a little angry at her statement. I started to get angry with anyone who said things like, “You will love him just the same.” “Everything happens for a reason” and so on. I was sad, deflated and angry. I also felt guilty for having these emotions. I felt I was giving the impression that children with Downs were not satisfactory. I prayed even harder. God did lift that anger, and I began to feel comfort in people’s reassuring words. I felt so close to God even though I was suffering so much.

After the test was done we found out that in fact Oney was a healthy baby boy. I thanked God and my constant prayer stopped. My happy content life returned to normal and my prayer life diminished.

When Oney was a month old he developed RSV. The morning I found him cold and limp will also live in my memory forever. When Big D and I were in the hospital rubbing Oney’s little body to get him to start breathing again will never be forgotten.

Seeing my sweet little boy with a breathing tube and a feeding tube not knowing when or if I would ever take him home was something that tore my heart right out of me.

Again I turned to God. Constant prayer is what kept me from lying in bed and not getting up. Constant prayer helped me to be a mom to my other children, to get through Christmas without my little boy. God was with me I could feel him all around me.

We were finally able to take Oney home, I thanked God and my life went back to normal. Once again my constant prayer stopped.

"Watch ye, therefore, praying at all times, that you may be accounted worthy to escape all these things that are to come and to stand before the Son of man." -Luke 21:36

What does praying at all times mean? It seems that the only time I did this was when tragedy struck, when God was the only person I could cling to. What about the times when life is a party, when things are good and God’s blessings are apparent? I have learned through tragic events that yes, even when life is a party I must invite God into my life through prayer.

I believe if my prayers never ceased through the good times, when the bad times came around I would not be searching so fervently for God. I would not in a frantic haste pray for Him to be at my side, because I would know that He has been there all along.

I don’t think I can say this enough, children can teach us so many things about God. They are blessing from God for a good reason. Children help us to understand what “Pray always” means. I have been blessed to have a life that is most of the time a party, having been blessed with that type of life I feel it is my obligation to continue to pray always, everyday for God’s grace, for others, for family and for the world.

God wants to be in my life when things are going great. Just as much as he wants to be my rock when things are going wrong. I won’t forget this. I will take what my little son has taught me. God will be there always through prayer when I am down and need Him. He will also be there when Life is wonderful because I will still need Him.

I look to God to help others and me out of the darkness; I will also remember to invite him to the party.

God Bless These Chicken Nuggets

My kids teach me a lot of things. They teach me patience, I seem to be a slow learner at this, I keep tying. They teach me about love, kindness and they teach me how to have faith like a child.

Big D and I want to teach our children that you don’t have to hide your faith, we are open and talk about God with them everyday. These little folks are not reserved when it comes to talking about their faith or prayers around anyone, for this I am grateful.

The lesson they taught me happened one day at McDonald's I took them there for lunch and to run around in the play area. We got our nutritious meal of cheeseburgers and chicken nuggets and sat down in the crowded play area to eat. My kids know they have to eat all their food before they can play. I guess that gives me a point for being a good mom, even though I feed them fast food sometimes for lunch.

The place was packed. Moms, Dads, and kids filled the tables. There were also kids running around playing. We were about to start eating when Miss said, “Wait we have to say grace.” This was at a time when we had just begun making prayer apart of our daily lives. Being reserved in my faith, I felt uncomfortable. I did not want my kids to see I felt this way, I put my burger down and said, “Go ahead."

The kids quietly folded their hands and made the sign of the cross. In a normal voice they said Grace. I followed their lead. I had my head down so I don’t know if people were looking at us or not. I didn’t care; after we said Grace I could not have been more proud. I thanked God to myself. I thanked him for these children, and I asked him to help me to be like them.

That day as my children and I said Grace over our chicken nuggets and cheeseburgers I felt God was truly giving me a lesson through these little children. Have faith like a child, God is everywhere, (even McDonald's) and never be afraid to be who you are. Now our family always says Grace before we eat no matter where we are. I don’t feel uncomfortable about it at all.

My children taught me that.

Viewing Life Through Orange Colored Goggles

Is it possible to view the world through rose-colored glasses, or orange colored goggles as this post depicts? How can I live in the world today and not be jaded by the tragedies that happen. How can I overcome the tragedies that befall me?

When these things come to mind I think of how children get along in the world and the experiences they deal with. It seems from the very start of life children are born with an embedded trust in their parents. As children get older they seem to believe that their parents control the universe. When a child has parents who love and care for them the trust is sometimes overwhelming. If a tragedy or a bad thing happens to a child, they look to their parents to make it all better, or at least explain it in a way that the child can overcome the experience.

With this kind of parent child relationship, I can see how it is easy for a child to view the world in a positive way. What about us as adults and parents, this is something we cannot teach our children unless we know how to do it ourselves. I believe this is where God and faith come in.

As infants we have parents who cater to our every need, as children our parents shield us from the dangerous ways of the world. We form a tremendous trust. And learn that yes, the world can sometimes be a dangerous and hurtful place, but there is always a safe spot for us. A place we can go to come back to good thoughts and actions.

Does this all end as we leave our parents and venture out in to the world as adults? I believe that the bigger picture is God. He is our safe spot. When I let go and understand that He controls my universe, I can feel at rest with the experiences that happen around me.

I would like to believe that my trust in God could never be broken, even when my loved ones or I are in the midst of tragedy. When hope seems so far away, would my trust be as strong as I would like it to be? I believe this is where examples of people who do have that trust come in.

When I was pregnant with Oney a couple from our parish was also pregnant. The Adamkiewiczs. Catherine was due around the same time as I was.When we saw each other we would talk about our pregnancies and all things baby.Time went on and I had Oney,a healthy baby boy. Catherine had Celeste, but she was not healthy. She was kept at the hospital due to her illness. When we would see the Adamkiewicz family they would give us updates, and sometimes their eyes were filled with hope that little Celeste would b coming home soon.

Celeste never came home. It was an awful tragedy that fell on this family. How could this happen to such a wonderful family? A family who tries their very best to live the way God wants them to? After Celeste died we would see Catherine and her family at Church, their trust in God was strong. It was an example to all of us.

They decided that God controlled their universe and like any good parent He would take care of them.Catherine and her family decided to put on their rose colored glasses and let God take care of them and their broken hearts.

This family went further, they knew Celeste was here for a reason, Catherine wrote a book about their tragedy and their faith that held them together. The book is called Broken and Blessed. It is a story of a family who had to use all their strength to trust that God would see them through their daughter’s death.

The Adamkiewicz family used their tragedy to show us that God will provide. He is the perfect parent. We can trust Him to guide us and help us to see a positive out of the tragedies that befall our world and our lives, we only need to trust that this will happen, like a child would trust their Mother and Father.

Their example is a powerful one that has reached many people. Celeste did a lot for us in her short time, thanks to God and the family who trusted.

In the midst of tragedy, suffering, and pain I will look to God and trust that He will be the parent He promised to be. I will carry His love with me, and a really nice pair of orange colored goggles.