My plan for this morning was to go to the grocery store to get laundry detergent. I had two big garbage bags full of empty bottles and cans. Bug, Oney, and I would make a quick trip to take the cans back and get the detergent. I figured it would take a total of thirty minutes, quick and easy.
I packed up the kids and the two garbage bags in the van and away we went. It is about 53 degrees here with a lot of wind. As I am getting the kids in the cart the wind is whipping us around the parking lot, we finally make it into the store. I start putting the cans into the machine, while Bug asks me about twenty times if she can help. I picked her up a couple of times so she could put the cans in. I realize if I keep this up we will be here for a good hour, so I give her the job of putting the cardboard in the bin. Meanwhile I have to stop every so often because Oney, who hates wearing shoes, is taking them off and throwing them as far as he can. The lady who is next to me can see how haggard I am at this point and offers her machine up so I can get done faster. Bless her heart.
We finally get done with the bottles and cans; I am now sweating and focused on getting the one item I need and getting out of there. I go straight to the detergent isle, not stopping to look at anything. I grab it and we are almost to the check out, almost home free. That is when I spot her. The lady who is the florist at the grocery store, I see her quickly grab four big helium balloons and she starts walking towards us. She walks up to me and says, “We can’t use these anymore, and I was just waiting for some kids to come in to give them to.” Bug and Oney have huge smiles on their face. I am trying to make my smile as natural as possible. In my head I am thinking, “You either have no kids, or you have not taken toddlers shopping in a good long while.” She hands Bug and Oney the balloons, we say thank you and now my fun begins.
At the check out Bug is screaming because Oney is grabbing one of the balloon strings. I ring up my item; pay and now we are on our way out. From the grocery store to the van, I have dodged and picked up flying shoes that Oney feels the need to throw. At the same time trying to keep the balloon strings from wrapping around his little neck. As I mentioned before the wind is whipping and the balloons are flying all over the place.
We get to the van and by now the four balloon stings are in a tangled mess. I tell Bug to hold on to the balloons or they will fly away. Bug then goes into a crying fit, screaming that she does not want her balloons to fly away. I try to get Oney in his car seat but he has a death grip on the strings. I pry the stings out of his hand, and now I have two screaming toddlers and four tangled balloons.
I get everyone safely in the car, and the balloons untangled. On the ride home I get to listen to Bug and Oney fight, balloons hitting me in the back of the head the whole way home. At this point I need to find something, anything with a point so I can pop those dreaded things and end this whole episode.
Now we are home, the balloons are in the corner of my room, tangled for the third time and not being played with at all. This was my morning, thank you grocery store florist lady. Thank you very much.