Friday, September 26, 2008
One night I was sitting on my couch watching an episode of Nanny 911. If you have never seen the show what it basically boils down to are parents with uncontrollable children who want them fixed. Nanny comes in and shows the parents it is their fault the kids are crazy and presto the family is all better.
On this particular episode it was the same deal. Dad works all day, mom is a frustrated, depressed, yelling mess. What caught my attention was when Nanny told the mother that her problem was that she lost herself. Her whole life revolved around the kids and she did nothing for herself therefore she was lost. Nanny then went on to tell the mother if she does not find herself before the kids leave home she will be a depressed empty nester.
My take was that mom and dad needed to find their friendship again and come together as parents. I didn’t see anything showing this devoted mom was lost. It made me wonder if this is something people think about moms who live their life for their kids and family.
I am a stay at home mom with four kids. They are my life. My life does revolve around them. They are my job, my career. I am their mother, and their teacher. When I am not doing the daily physical things a mother does my mind and heart are always on my kids. Am I lost?
I, like the lady on Nanny 911, don’t get a chance to do much for myself. I do get my hair done and go shopping for myself, and I occasionally go out with the girls (Which is coming up this Saturday, YAY!) but my family's needs always come first. You know what, I am ok with that. Here is a news flash I like my kids. Being a mom is who I am. I don’t feel being a mother has caused me to lose anything; I feel I have found a major part of myself through motherhood.
I hope people don’t see me as lost. I have never been so aware of myself since I had my children. As for them leaving and me becoming a depressed empty nester, I don’t see that in my future. I dream of the day when Big D and I can have lazy afternoons, go to nightly mass together, or just go where we want to go when we want to go. I look forward to the day when I can, dare I say, spoil my husband even more than I do now. There are so many places where I want to volunteer and the ministries I want to continue that will be much easier to do when the kids are grown.
The days will come when my children get older and leave; it will be bitter sweet for me but I don’t see it as an end for me. I see it as retiring from the more physical work of being a mother and going on to the next chapter in life where I am sure more of myself is waiting to be found.