Seeking

I have been reading the book The Fulfillment of All Desire by Ralph Martin. I recommend this book to everyone who is looking for a way to begin or keep on their spiritual journey.

This book has made me think a lot about all the petty things I think and worry about. A few times I wanted to stop reading the book because some of the instructions for a spiritual life are just too hard! But I kept reading and kept praying that I would at least finish the book.

There is so much good information in this book, but what I kept having trouble with is the parts where the Saints remind us that we must strive to not be of this world, to give up attachments to worldly things and of course sin.

The words, "Give up" are not on my favorite word list. But if I truly believe that my life on this Earth is only temporary, and I do, then why do I hold tight to things here that really mean nothing and embrace the things my soul will live with forever?

When God asks us to give things up He replaces what we have given up with graces we will need to live in paradise. This is difficult for me because I can see what is in the world, I can taste, feel, and hear it. Sometimes I can't understand God's Graces.

According to St.John of the Cross first we need a desire for God. To really seek Him out and to abandon all fears and give him all our trust. We will find Him, and He will never abandon us.

I am seeking

Come then, follow, seek him; do not let that unapproachable brightness and glory hold you back from seeking Him or make you despair from finding Him. "The lord is good to the soul who seeks Him" (Lam.3:18)

-St.Bernard

Happy Fat Tuesday, Lets get ready for Lent!

I was thinking of something great to post on this fat Tuesday/Paczki day. I wanted to talk about our preparations for Lent and some good tips for bringing ourselves closer to God. Well a good friend beat me to it, Rachel from the blog Young Catholic Mom has written a great post about Paczki Day and more importantly Lent.

Thanks Rachel for writing such a great post, it frees up my time to eat more Paczki! :)

You can view Rachel's post HERE.

How to Raise Good Catholic Kids

I love this painting. This is what I want, to take my children by the hand and lead them straight to God.

Sometimes it's easier said than done. I use the site ehow.com for lots of things, like how to make a skirt, or how to fix the noise my washing machine is making. Who knew the site would have simple tips everyone could do to make a start at raising good Catholic children.

I love the side bar that tells you what you will need. The list includes- perseverance, Bible, and Rosaries.

Take a look at the four steps it takes to get your children on their way to becoming good Catholics HERE.

You can always look at How to Avoid Grizzly Bears While Hiking later.

An Advent Breather

I have been running around like a mad woman trying to get Christmas together for the big day. Since I do most of my shopping online I have really been running around like a mad women in my head. I have been staying up at night fretting over what presents I should buy, who did I forget, am I spending too much money, you know the usual.

Today I took a breather, I just let it be Advent today and wow did it feel good. The whole family woke up bright and early to get ready for the 8:30 am Liturgy my son's third grade class was doing. We got everyone ready in the nick of time. Well two of our children were late for school but we made it to Mass on time!

I sat in the pew with my husband and my two younger children and just felt a sigh of relief. No shopping, no dead lines, no worrying if the sweater I bought for Aunt Betty was the right color, none of that. It was just Advent and it was beautiful.

I love Christmas, I love to celebrate the birth of our Lord. I love Santa and being with lots of family, but I think I would get lost in all the shuffle if it wasn't for Advent.

I work every year to be more in tune with the preparing for Christ's birth we Catholics call Advent. This year I am doing better than the last. I seem to find little nooks where there is nothing but Advent, like today at the third grade Liturgy or like the other day when I opened my front door and heard the Church bells playing the song Noel.

I find that each year I get better at not being too busy to catch these beautiful glimpses of Advent.

May the rest of your Advent be blessed with joy and beautiful glimpses.

A Difficult Homily

This past Sunday our priest gave a wonderful but difficult Homily.

The Gospel passage was from Matthew…

34 “Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35 ‘For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; 36 naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ 37 “Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? 38 ‘And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 39 ‘When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ 40 “The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’
41 “Then He will also say to those on His left, ‘Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; 42 for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; 43 I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.’ 44 “Then they themselves also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?’ 45 “Then He will answer them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’ 46 “These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

Our Priest broke this passage down in a way that pertains to my immediate world.

Do I give unconditional love to those who hunger for it, my husband, my children, family and friends?

When people thirst for acceptance and truth do I quench their thirst or do I hold back because they are a different religion, a different color, or have different ideas of truth than what I believe to be right?

Do I welcome the stranger into my circle of friends or family when they are different than me? Do I accept them even though they have different beliefs, political stance etc…?

When people are naked with vulnerability do I feel superior towards them, use that vulnerability to manipulate them or cause them harm?

When people are sick with addiction, mental illness, or lack of love, do I run away from them, ridicule them?

When someone is imprisoned with depression, home bound, or is in a prison of sadness and anger because of hurt that has been afflicted upon them do I keep my distance?

Our priest also said that we must see Jesus in everyone. This is so difficult. It is hard to see Jesus in the person addicted to drugs who is hurting themselves and their families.

Am I supposed to see Jesus in the people who harm children, who are not sorry for their crime and will do it again if they have a chance?

Is Jesus really in these people?

When the homily was over I knew I fell short on everything Jesus was trying to say through the Gospel.

I do pray for everyone, even those who do evil things, but even though I pray for them I don’t have the love and compassion in my heart for them. I do not see Jesus in them.

I want to see Christ in everyone, but it is difficult when I have trouble finding Him in me.

I don't have the answer. I know what Jesus wants me to do but at times I find it impossible. The only thing I know to do is pray.

I will keep this homily in my heart, pray about it and ask Christ for help.

Peace

Holy Card Images

While looking for images on the internet I stumbled across this blog, Holy Cards for Your Inspiration.

The images are beautiful.

Stop by and take a look.

You Know Your Catholic When...

-You have a "favorite" religious order

-You say the meal prayer no matter where you are

-You have a nativity set at your house during Christmas, and have also played with it.

-Whenever anyone says "JPII" in your head you think "We love you"

-You know that Father Stan could take on Eminem any day

-You know that Advent is the beginning of the new church year.

-You have a special place in your heart for Mother Teresa

-You know at least five people named Mary

-You want to name one of your sons John Paul

-You have a Mary statue in your front yard.

-You can name off all the Joyful, Glorious, Sorrowful, and Luminous mysteries.

-You consider your rosary to be your spiritual weapon

-You've memorized the St. Michael the Archangel prayer and recite it when you feel tempted by sin

-One or more of your friends entered the seminary or the convent

-Your mom is currently pregnant

-You and your spouse practice NFP

-You believe in Purgatory and know it's important to pray for the souls who are currently in Purgatory

-You think Scott Hahn writes the coolest books.

-You’re able to sit still for a full hour in front of the Blessed Sacrament

-Your idea of a great date is mass followed by good conversation at Panera

-You refer to John Paul II as John Paul the Great

-You never leave home without your scapular.

-You often end disputes with, "Let's look it up in the Catechism."

-You and your friends have shown up at Adoration at 4:00 in the morning

-When watching Star Wars and hear "may the force be with you" you respond with "and also with you"

-You have participated in sword fights using Palms on Passion Sunday

-You and your friends have ever played "Mass" instead of House, or Cops and Bad Guys

-You have your own designated seat at Mass

-They know you at every Catholic bookstore in the area, and ask you where you've been if you haven't stopped by in a while.

-You’re named after a saint, not a family member.

-You know at least three awesome stories about Padre Pio

-You get excited about going to mass

-You arrive at Mass half an hour early to get a good seat and talk to Jesus

-Your mom always makes sure to celebrate your feast day

-Altar serving is the cool thing to do

-You associate the smell of incense with major feast days

-You’ve ever referred to yourself and your significant other as "a couple discerning a vocation to marriage"

-You and your many siblings went trick-or-treating dressed as popes and martyrs

-You feel compelled to make the sign of the cross after reciting ANYTHING... (like the pledge of allegiance) and then you catch yourself and have to remind yourself that it wasn't a prayer

-You have a priest come bless your house with holy water before you move in.

-You never eat before church, and brunch afterward is always the best!

-Your first serious conversation you have with a potential girl/boyfriend involves your conversion story

-You lie awake at night wondering why the St. Michael Prayer was removed from the end of Mass

-The word "vocation" to you does not simply mean "job"

-People tend you look in your direction in class whenever anything involving religion comes up

-You always have one or more saints on some part of your body.

-You have a Rosary or Saint Christopher pin in your car.

-One of your Crucifixes has five years worth of dried out palms stuck behind it.

-You would rather get your picture with the Pope then with a huge celebrity.

-You have more than one Rosary hanging from your bed.

-You have contemplated being in a religious order at least once.

-Your one wish is to be able to ride in the Pope mobile

-You say "God bless you" anytime anyone sneezes, out of habit

-You know the greatest way to start a date is with The Mass, because you'll have the greatest meal, Christ in the Eucharist

-You know more about St. Francis of Assisi than "he was some guy who could talk to animals"

-You have had multiple meetings with the priest at your own will

-You had competitions with your friends on Ash Wednesday to see who could keep their ashes on the longest

-You still write "Your Kingdom Come!" or "JMJ" at the top of your page/letter/report/test

-You spend your Thursday nights at choir practice hanging out with people at least thirty-five years older than you in preparation for Sunday Mass

-You mentally correct every textbook use of "BCE" and CE" with "Before Christ" and "Anno Domini". You also mentally capitalize every written use of the word "God' and "Mass"

-You know that some Catholics don't eat meat on Wednesdays or Fridays, even not during Lent.

-You find that praying the rosary is a good way to pass the time(especially at work)

-You get really excited over a holy day of obligation.

- You are tired of people referring to the birth of Jesus the immaculate conception

-You've ever been told my your mom, "Offer it up", and then felt very obliged to do so

-When discussing possible names for your future children with friends or your future spouse, you start ruling out names that aren't virtues, saints, or biblical

-You’ve thought it would be fun to read the CCC as if it were a novel

-You hug strangers at Mass during the sign of peace

-You think getting a S.T.D. is cool... (S.T.D.= Doctorate of Sacred Theology)

-You held a pope party (complete with papal flag, and German beer) for the election of the B XVI (it was a Tuesday night).

-You were disappointed when you couldn’t find a Catholic version of trivia pursuit

- You hear the word Madonna, you think of the Blessed Virgin, not the song "Like a Virgin."

-You know that "prostrate" is not a place where men develop cancer

-Instead of change, you find a rosary under your couch cushions.

-You have at one point had to stop a younger child/sibling from playing in the holy water font.

What About This Guy For President?

"I earnestly pray that the people who make up the moral constituency in our politics will show the faithful courage their leaders do not. To do so, they must declare their independence from a two-party system that offers no choice but for evil. They should 'seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness,' actively looking for the candidate who most effectively stands for His will. When they find such a candidate on the ballot, they should vote for him or her. When they know of such a candidate, though not on the ballot, they should write in the name. If in some states they are not allowed to do so, they shouldn't wait until Election Day to make a good old American fuss about this infringement of their voting rights. They should not settle for less than what they know is right for their country. Why? Because they love their country, and because they love the Creator God who made them free. And most of all because the Good Neighbor who suffered and died on the Cross to save them from death and sin is not willing that our nation should be lost to a 'choice of evils' because those who profess to follow Him will not show in their love of country the same sacrificial love that He showed on Golgotha, and still shows for all of us." -Alan Keyes

A Child's Home is a Mother's Heart

Lately I have been meeting Protestants who have converted to the Catholic Faith. They all have great stories to tell about their journey and how they came about coming to embrace the Catholic Faith as truth.

I have also noticed that these people who I have met and talked to have something in common, they have said that though they knew in their heart and soul that the Catholic Church was Christ’s Church but they all had a hard time excepting the Marian Doctrine.

For some it only took a few good books to understand a Catholic’s devotion to Our Lady. For others it took years and constant prayer.

One woman I recently met is a daughter of an ex-Catholic Protestant preacher. Right away I knew her story was going to be good. She married a Catholic man who was not devout, but he did not want to give up the Catholic faith. This woman challenged her husband to either give up the Catholic faith or “be Catholic.” Her husband took this challenge and started to learn about his faith. In the woman’s words, she said her challenge “backfired.” Her husband became devout and along the way he taught her about the faith.

This woman came to the conclusion that this was the truth and became Catholic, but she had some problems with Mary. Her husband took her to see Scott Hahn speak about Mary, and she prayed about what would be the right thing to do.

As she was at Mass she asked our Lord to help her with this and show her how to be close to our Lady. After Mass she walked outside and she said some random man walked up to her and gave her a miraculous medal, and then walked away. Well you can guess how she feels about the Blessed Mother now. I love her story because all through it you can see how God has placed husband and wife together for the sake of each other's souls. And also how our relationship with Mary is so valuable.

Her story got me thinking about my relationship with Mary. A few years ago I decided to read the Secret of Mary by St. Louis de Montfort, and considered concentrating myself to Our Mother. During that time my prayers were much deeper than they have ever been. I really can’t explain the feeling I had as I drew closer to Our Mother, but I knew it was right. Then I had feelings of doubt. I wondered if being so close to Mary was offending Jesus. Even I, a cradle Catholic, was having trouble with Mary.

A week ago my husband told me he was going to concentrate himself to Mary, this caused me to get out my book The Secret of Mary and read it again. I also read Hail, Holy Queen by Scott Hahn, I highly recommend this book by the way. Then these Catholic converts keep crossing my path with their Mary stories.

In the book Hail, Holy Queen, Scott Hahn writes about God being a family in himself. We have the Father and the Son. But would God leave a family like that? No, God knows how important a Mother is to the family, and since God is perfect he would give us nothing less than a perfect family. That includes a Mother.

I have never felt more close to Our lord than when I kept his Mother close to me. Thanks to my husband, good books, and a handful of Protestant converts, I know how important it is to love our Mother and to accept her entirely as Jesus gave her to us.

May we be assisted, we beseech Thee, O Lord, by the worshipful intercession of Thy glorious Mother, the ever-Virgin Mary; that we, who have been enriched by her perpetual blessings, may be delivered from all dangers, and through her loving kindness made to be one heart and mind: who livest and reignest world without end. Amen.

Belonging

There is something about fitting in that makes me feel comfortable and loved. When I am with family and friends and we agree on issues or support each other’s lives, it gives me a warm cozy feeling of belonging.

When it comes to the Catholic faith within our families, Big D and I are kind of outsiders.
I would love to have get togethers where talking about Feast Days, the homily at Church or political issues would not leave people feeling uncomfortable. I would love to have a devout Catholic family that understands my life and why we choose to live this way.

When I think about this I am wondering if I am being selfish, if my reasons are more for my benefit than the benefit of other’s souls. Sometimes they are selfish and I really don’t mean them to be. But I can’t help finding myself longing for the companionship of like-minded Catholics who are close to me.

I have been blessed to belong to a great homeschool group with women I can relate to. Friends from my parish have also played a major role in my faith and the feeling of belonging. But nothing compares to an everyday relationship you can turn to for advice and understanding.

While doing my daily blog reading I came across a post by Catholic Mom Climbing the Pillars. In her post she gave recognition to Catholic blogs. While I was reading I realized how important Catholic blogs have become to me, especially blogs written by Catholic women and mothers.

Everyday I can go to these blogs and find wisdom, faith teaching, advice, and a sense that these women understand because we all belong to the same community.

I am beginning to know my fellow moms in my homeschool group a little better. I pray that our relationships will grow and we can all benefit from being close Catholic women and mothers.

Never take for granted that you and your mother, grandmother, sister etc…are just alike. Having that connection is what helps bring peace to the soul.

I want to thank Catholic’s who reach out from their blogs. It does not go unnoticed. To some you are a daily connection to belonging and a guide to help on the path of faith.

I greatly appreciate it.

Objectification of Woman

I have just read this article by Helen Alvare from the website catholicwomen.com.
Her point of view on feminism and the consumerism of female sexuality is something I have never thought of before.

I think it is important for Catholic women and all women for that matter to realize our self worth, for ourselves and for the future generations.


You can read the whole article here Female Objectification Not All Fault of Men

Fill It Up

Blaise Pascal wrote: “There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every person, and it can never be filled by any created thing. It can only be filled by God, made known through Jesus Christ.”

I am sure you have heard a few times that every person has a God shaped hole in their heart that can only be filled by God. What does this mean? I have thought about this for a while and have come to my own opinion to what this statement means to me.

In this world we are bombarded by quick fixes. If you feel empty or alone there are many things that can quickly lift your spirits for the short term.

Going by my own experiences there are people who find all kind of ways to fill these holes. Spending money on “things” that they think will make them happy. Using food as a way to calm their emotions and fill the empty hole. I have fallen into these ways of fulfillment myself and quickly realized that these ways do not fill up the empty feeling, they actually bring more emptiness.

Even relationships can be used to temporarily fill the hole from loneliness, and sadness. Couples that stay together when it is obvious that they are doing harm to one another. There is no care for the other’s spiritual well being. They help the other sin. Yet they stay together because the hole is being temporarily filled although they continue feeling lonely and hurt.

Children used to fill these empty holes in their parents would have to be the saddest example for me.

Then of course there are the addictions, drugs, alcohol, gambling etc…

How do I keep myself from falling into the traps laid out before us? My answer is God. Do people want to hear this answer? I don’t know, but it is the only one I have.

Did God give us this heart with the hole in it and just expect us to figure out how to fill it? When I give my simple answer of God to people with little or no faith how are they supposed to understand what I mean?

That is where the Sacraments and the Catholic Faith come in. I really can’t believe God would leave us wandering around wondering how we are to get Him to fill our empty hearts. What do we do?

As humans we love our senses. We like to see things happening, smell them, hear them, and feel them. God knows this, after all he knows everything and he made himself human, so He knows.

The Sacraments are just that, the real touchable presence of God. He has given us himself in such a way that we can see, feel, taste, and hear. God is not invisible; He can be touched with all your senses in the Catholic Church.

God clearly explained and showed us exactly how to fill up our hearts. It is not a guessing game or supposed to leave us in wonder. God is present in a special way through the Eucharist and in every other Sacrament. He is waiting to be taken into our hearts, to fill us with peace and joy. God waits there for us and always will.

Magnificent Art

Big D does not let me read his posts on his blog while he is writing them. I have to venture over to his blog when he is done like everyone else.

Yesterday I sat down at the computer to do some blog reading and I of course visited Big D's blog first. He had written a beautiful post that I would like to share with everyone.

Give his blog a visit and find out how beautiful art can be.

You can visit him here Professio.

Forgive Yourself

When I came back to the Catholic Faith six years ago I knew how important it was to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. During the time I was not going to Church or receiving the Sacraments. I had always told myself I could confess my sins to God on my own and everything would be fine. That is what I would do.

I knew if I wanted to become whole in the Catholic Faith I would have to go to Confession. I had no idea how long it had been since my last Confession; lets just say it was a good many years. I examined my conscience and came to the conclusion that I was going to be spending quite a bit of time in that confessional.

I was carrying around sins that were a tremendous burden on me, even though I spent many a night begging God for his forgiveness, the sin was still on my heart because I would ask for forgiveness of these sins over and over again.

The day came for me to make a proper confession. I had everything I was going to confess in my mind. To be honest I was afraid the Priest was going to tell me to get lost or chastise me for the things I had done.

When I was about to confess something came over me, I started to weep uncontrollably. It was as though all the shame and sorrow was pouring out and there was no way for me to stop it. I felt a little embarrassed, but the Priest was patient and waited for me to compose myself. This type of reaction never happened when I confessed my sins to God on my own, these emotions came out of nowhere.

When I was done and I had my emotions somewhat under control, the Priest gave me absolution. I had to ask again, “Am I forgiven?” The Priest told me of course I was, he said coming to Confession, asking and receiving God’s forgiveness was the easy part. The hard part is forgiving yourself.

This was something I had trouble with. Forgiving myself would require me to put my trust in God and his gift of the Sacraments. If the Lord has given us Reconciliation as a way to forgive our sins, then I would have to trust and believe in this. Trusting and believing in this in turn would allow me to forgive myself. I would have to learn to let go, that God’s promises are true and to constantly feel ashamed, or withdrawn would not be giving much respect to God’s promise of forgiveness through Reconciliation.

As I said my penance, I had never felt so light. I asked God to help me trust him so forgiving myself could begin. It was not instant, but everyday I was stronger in my trust, I was slowly becoming free of the guilt and shame I had put on myself. Being free of this helped me to declutter my soul, heart, and mind and make a space for God to enter.

The Lord calls us to ask for forgiveness in his Sacrament of Reconciliation, I will put my trust in the Lord and his Sacraments. I will not be afraid to forgive myself.

My Embrace of The Catholic Faith (Part Four)

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

My family and I started going to Church every Sunday. Big D and I decided that if we were going to be Catholic and live a Catholic life we better start learning about it. Big D started buying books, lots and lots of books on the Catholic faith.

One book that I really liked was Catholicism for Dummies. This book has straightforward explanations with a little humor thrown in. We also referred to the Catechism of the Catholic Church. The more I read the more fascinated I became with the Catholic faith.

A friend and Co-worker of Big D invited us to go see and hear Fr Corapi at his local parish. We all went to the Church and it was beautiful. Fr, Corapi was sitting down and seemed to be very humble and quiet. When it was time for him to speak he was nowhere near quiet. He mesmerized me. His fire for the Catholic faith was something that reached my heart and soul. This is exactly what I needed, someone to speak to me about the Catholic faith and not water anything down.

When we left, my soul was on fire, I wanted to tell everyone I knew how wonderful the Catholic faith was, and that everyone should embrace it. I soon found out that many people did not want to hear that. Even people I know who are Catholic did not want to hear that. I was not trying to tell them that they were wrong or not with God. I felt as though I had the answer to life and I had to let people know what that was.

It soon seemed to feel that my family and I were looked at as a little too Catholic, a little too religious. It was discouraging at first. It seemed as though some of our family and friends wanted to distance themselves, and if they didn't they only wanted to debate religion with us. This was the time that I realized we would have some crosses to bear as we made our way closer to God. I became aware that I was not going to show people God through my words, it would have to be my actions and example, which is a lot harder. It is one thing to quote the Bible and the Catechism, it is quite another to live it out. I felt I would do best with the latter.

We did not let other people and their opinions stop us. As big D and I were studying the Catholic faith it became clear that The Church does not accept contraceptives. We felt we needed to find another alternative. We found an Natural Family Planning class at our parish and we went. This is where we met our very good friends B&D. They had been teaching the class for over twenty years. We learned how to do the Billings Method, and it just seemed so easy. Could this work? We started using the method, and yes it does work.

NFP is a natural way for a woman to know her body. I felt liberated with the feeling of control over the cycles of my body. It also gave Big D and I closeness in our relationship. Every month we had to decide if we would be open to life. We were giving of each other with nothing held back. It brought us so much closer on a spiritual and physical level.

Learning about and using NFP also gave me a very different outlook on children. Some people see a mom with eight kids and who uses NFP, what is there first thought? NFP does not work. That is so far from the truth. When you are using NFP you lose the notion that children are a burden. You see them for what they are, natural, loving gifts that come straight from God. So believe me that women with eight children who uses NFP knows exactly what she is doing.

NFP was completely new to me. I had never heard of it before, so I was sure the women I knew had never heard of it. As I used the method and found it to work very well I began telling my women friends and family about it. Some listened, some said it does not work, even though they never tried it. I think this was just one more thing that made me the kooky Catholic. I didn’t care I could see the transformation in my marriage and in myself.

Before I was happy with having my children, a boy and a girl. That was the perfect family. Everyone thought so. Any more children and you are reaching the point of being “different.” Like I said before, learning about the Catholic faith and using NFP gave me such a different insight on children. The reason that I feel Catholic woman who use NFP have many children is because the Lord opens your eyes and your hearts when you embrace what he is asking you to do. We can see God though these little people, how could you not want more! I was no different. My heart was tugging and I prayed on what we should do. Needless to say we ended up having two more children, another girl and another boy. Now I was the kooky Catholic with a lot of kids, and I loved it.

We received a call from our priest asking if we would be interested in facilitating the marriage classes at our parish. Our friends B&D ran the conference. Basically what happens is engaged couples come for the weekend, we talk about all things marriage, money, intimacy, in-laws, and other topics that need addressing.. We also let them know what the Catholic Church expects of them. How the Church views marriage. Obviously we said yes and have been doing this for about five years. Thank you B&D

I had been praying for some time for God to help my marriage. For Big D and I to become closer and be spiritually connected. Boy did he deliver. Going to Church, receiving the Sacraments, using NFP, becoming Marriage facilitators. We invited him into our marriage and he did not hesitate to fix it. Big D and I look at each other and life in a whole new way. We see our marriage as a blessed sacrament, our children as the fruits of that sacrament. Big D became a new man. I look up to him. He joined the Knights, became a Eucharistic Minister, and a lector. He became a man who stands up for what is right no matter the opposition. This is something I struggle with, so to have his example is very valuable to me. Thank you Big D for coming on this journey with me. Together we will hold each other up.

Sometimes people ask me what our secret is. There is no secret. God does not want us going through this life confused and constantly pondering life. Life is about loving one another and loving God. Seek the truth, it is not hard to find. Care for your family and neighbors. No secret, invite God into your lives.

I have thanked a few people throughout this writing; I am sure there are many more who God has put in my path. I can only hope that in some small way I have given back to these people, and to everyone I have come in contact with. You don’t have to do great things to be recognized by God. Your example, and the little things you do can set that person on the path to God. My journey is by no means over. I have just started. I am always learning something new. As of now I have no idea in what direction God is leading me. What I do know is if I put my trust in him he will never lead me astray. I thank everyone again, and I thank all of you who took the time to read my story.

Kelly

My Embrace of The Catholic Faith (Part Three)

Part One
Part Two

As I drew closer to embracing my faith, I felt as if I had hit a spiritual rock bottom. Big D and I were having troubles in our marriage. We were still in love, we argued a lot about money, we were extremely lacking in the communication department, and we seemed to be living as roommates rather than husband and wife.

At the same time my Grandfather was dying of Cancer. He was like a father to me. I spent most of my childhood with him because my parents both worked. He was strong, loving, and very smart. Now I was watching this disease rob him from his freedom, it was making the man who I thought could do anything turn into a feeble, weak old man. At times it was unbearable to go and visit him. In the past I would walk into his house and he would be making something for us to eat, we would sit at the kitchen table and shoot the breeze so to speak. Now when I went to visit, I would find a pale old man lying in the back bedroom going in and out of sleep. Every move would bring on the pain, it was heart wrenching.

The day came when my Grandpa fell into a coma. The whole family was at his house. Hospice came and very lightly gave us the hint that we did not have much time. The Hospice worker told us he could hear and that if there was anything we had to say we should go say it. I went into the room, as my Grandpa lay motionless on the bed. I remember he told me before the coma that he could feel someone grabbing his hands, we did notice when he was asleep he would hold both of his arms straight out like he was trying to grasp something. I told him it was his guardian angel. I don’t know if that eased his mind, but I hope it did.

I walked up to my Grandpa and whispered a few things to him. I said I love you, thank you, and it is ok to let go, we will all be ok. About a half an hour latter he passed away. I had the honor to be in the room with him. I say I had the honor because the feeling I had at that moment was extreme loss, but also I had the feeling you would get being present at a birth of a new baby. The honor of it, the miracle you have witnessed. It is hard for me to explain, but I was extremely honored to be present as my Grandfather’s soul began its journey home.

It was time to deal with the funeral. I was in a bit of denial over the whole death. There were brief times were I did not believe he actually died. I even thought I saw him driving down my street. That was a weird experience. The funeral was held at our Catholic Church. We had the full mass. Although it was sad, I had an overwhelming feeling of being home. When I discussed this with Big D, to my surprise he was feeling that same way.

After the funeral, I thought about the meaning of my Grandfathers life and soul. He did not go to church, or talk about God much. I knew he believed in God, he was never open about it. A Priest came to visit before my Grandpa went into a coma. I don’t know what went on, I could only hope this Priest guided my Grandpa in the right direction.

I was pondering all the things my Grandpa did for me in this life. Now that he has gone does that mean it is over? Someone I loved so much could just “poof” be gone and there is nothing more? I could not accept this. I believed my Grandpa should be at peace with God and if that meant I had to go to Church every Sunday and pray everyday for his soul that is what I was going to do. I was not going to do it for me, or because it is the truth, and I surely did not expect it to help my life in anyway. It would all be for him, to get his stubborn butt into Heaven. Thank you Grandpa

Big D and I made the decision soon after the funeral that we would commit to going to Mass every Sunday. It was mostly for Miss and Lil D. Big D was not aware that I had a mission to get my Grandpa into Heaven. (If he was not there already) We were ready to take the responsibility of having children a step further. Not only seeing that their worldly needs were met, but also their spiritual needs. I had always known my children were gifts from God; I did not realize the magnitude of these gifts. How through these helpless little beings you can most definitely see Gods light shining through. I knew I had to get them on a path to God, I did not know they would play such a pivotal role in helping me along mine. My heart pours out much thanks to my sweet babies.

To be continued…

My Embrace of the Catholic Faith (Part Two)

Part one

I started to get that nagging feeling in my heart. It was time to have another baby. Miss was 2 ½ and we felt she was ready to become a big sister.

Lil D was born at the end of winter. We had are girl and our boy, perfect. At this time we had not been to church since Miss was baptized. I knew I had to call Sister B again and tell her we still have not gone to church or made any changes for that matter.

I called Sister B and told her we would like to get Lil D Baptized. She asked again about attending Church, I said no. She asked if we would need to take the classes, I told her we took them when we had our first child baptized. Sister B told me that with every child, you as a parent become closer to God, and she again had faith that we would raise these two gifts in the Catholic Faith. Thanks again Sister B.

Lil D was baptized and time went on. It was easy not to go to church, no one we knew did. It was easy not to talk about God and all that he does for our lives, because no one we knew did. It was very easy to make up our own rules about religion and faith because I tend to be defensive if I feel someone is trying to control my thoughts or actions. Having this emotional deficiency makes it hard to decide if someone is controlling you, or giving you good advice to further your life on the right path. I was very comfortable making up my own rules about my relationship with God.

I talk about having people around us who did not go to church and did not talk about God, but that is not entirely true. Big D has an Aunt and Uncle; I will call them M&M. They were the only people at the time who were living their faith. They are Protestant, and never seemed to be embarrassed about how they worshiped, raised their children or had any apologies for the way they lived.

They invited us over to their house for dinner a few times. We talked about God, Scripture, faith, and our lack there of. They never made me feel like they were trying to persuade us to be Protestant. They never bashed the Catholic Church. I believe they were put in our path to be role models. To show us you can live a life with God as it’s center and still be “normal” people.

They showed me that if you were going to have faith in God, you have to live that faith, thank you M&M. We could also see some of the crosses they had and still have to bear for choosing to live their life the way they feel God wants them to. I did not think Big D and I would have to bear those crosses, heck our whole family was Catholic, we were Catholic. Just because we decide to go to church on Sundays, what could change? Everything would remain the same right? Yeah right.

To be continued...

My Embrace of The Catholic Faith (Part One)

I grew up in a family who had faith in God. My family considers themselves Catholic. We rarely ever went to church, but my parents did allow me to receive my first sacraments, Baptism, Reconciliation, and First Holy Communion. I was read Bible stories and was told that God loved me. My parents sent me to a Catholic school until the 5th grade, which is pretty much where living and learning about Catholicism stopped. Not that my parents did not like Catholicism, it was just not part of their lifestyle.

During Jr. High and High School, I strayed far away from any type of religion. I felt very lonely and depressed at that time of my life. I always felt as if something was missing. I can remember a friend giving me a huge framed poster of Christ on the Crucifix. I hung it over my bed. Every night while I was crying or feeling sorry for myself, I would pray and ask Gods forgiveness. Promising not to do the wrong I had done again. This was a nightly ritual so obviously I did not keep my promise to God.

A few years after high school, I met my husband. Something about him made it very clear to me that this was the man I would spend the rest of my life with. At the time I would call it fate, or my brain being high on the chemicals related to the feelings of love. I know now that I was being called to my vocation, and like it or not my husband was being called to his.

My husband grew up the same way I did concerning faith. His grandmother is a devout Catholic, and he spent a lot of time with her, so his Catholic faith was a little more fine

We dated for four months until he proposed. Some people thought it was quick, but when God is pulling you in a direction there really is no time limit. We stayed engaged for a year and a half. This was my mother’s request. She wanted time to plan her only daughters wedding. Got to love Mom’s too.

Our wedding day approached, and we were deciding on what sort of mass we were going to have. Should we have the full-blown Catholic Mass, or the short version minus Communion? I wanted the short version, not because I did not care, but because I felt I was not worthy to have Jesus present at the wedding. It sounds crazy when I think back on it, but that is how I felt.

Lets bring Nani back in on this. (Nani being my husbands devout Catholic Grandma) My husband told me his Nani would be devastated if we did not celebrate Communion at our wedding. I agreed (thank goodness)

And we had the full-blown Catholic ceremony. Now that I think about it, it is funny how a little Nani can bring such a powerful message of God. If it was not for her and her devastation, I might look back on my wedding with regret that I did not have Jesus there in the Eucharist. Thank you Nani.

Now I believe when God is calling you to do something, it can be very clear sometimes. I knew that I wanted to be a mother more than anything. My husband felt the same way about being a father. We had no reasons why we should not get to the baby making right away. After 7 months of being married we conceived Miss.

We were about to have a baby and move into our new house. It was an exciting and stressful time. I was a bit depressed and still had the old feeling of something is missing. Big D and I were extremely in love and happy, but it was as if we could not communicate it properly. We did not know the deeper meaning of marriage.

We struggled with this for some time. We were also very young. This was my first time living on my own, and I would soon have another life to be responsible for. This new child of ours would be the first baby I would have close contact with. I was a whirlwind of emotion. I had no idea how to be a wife or mother. I wondered if this was the right path for me. I felt I had no one to turn to with these emotions and thoughts, not even Big D.

I was the first one of my friends to get married; I believe they felt I was too young. I was 22 by the way. So I felt I could not talk to them about my problems. I could talk to my parents some of the time, but their advice was, “You’re a team, work it out.” I understood that, I don’t think they understood that there was something missing in my marriage and life and how bad I was longing for it. I didn’t even understand.

I had a few pity parties, and kept up the search for the “thing” I felt was missing in my life. By this time we wanted to have Miss Baptized in the Catholic Church. Big D and I knew how important this was, as did our families. Even though we had the mindset that going to church wasn’t all that important. Go figure.

I called some local Churches and told them I was interested in having my infant Baptized. The question that was asked was, “Do you go to church?” My answer was no. A few of these churches denied us a Baptism. I will admit I was angry. How could they deny my child a Baptism? We were good people. Just because we were sinners did not mean I wanted my child to be one. What I did not think about was the promise of Baptism, to raise this child in the Catholic Faith. Were we really prepared to do this? At the time I don’t think so.

The last Church I called, I spoke to Sister B. I told her we do not go to church but it was extremely important that our child receive the sacrament of Baptism. This wonderful woman had faith in us. She told us they would do the sacrament and she would hope and pray that this would bring us back into our Catholic faith. Thank you Sister B.

The Baptism took place and it was beautiful. After all was said and done, Big D and I occasionally said we needed to go to church, but for some reason it did not fit into our life.

We spent the next 3 years living our lives. Big D worked a tremendous amount. He was never home. I was becoming bitter and disrespectful towards Big D. We were floating through life. Nothing was getting better. Everything just seemed to stay the same.

To be continued…

Catholic Calendar

Here is a site that is very helpful. It's called the Catholic Calendar.
It's a daily summary of the liturgical calendar.