Thursday Thirteen

13 Things Parents Say To Their Children

1.Because I said so.

This is something I swore I would never say; I always thought it was better to explain why rules are set and what they are for. After hearing "why?” for the 900Th time after I said no you can not have a third cupcake, I will admit I have used this phrase.

2.When I was your age…

As soon as I heard any type of conversation as a child that started with this, my eyes would glass over and I would drift off to la la land. Again I have used this on seldom occasions, for some reason when you become a parent you think your child cares that you did not have a computer, video games, or that you had to walk 5 miles to school.

3.How many times have I told you…

Do kids really know how many times we have told them not to do or to do something? I use this and it gets me nowhere. Miss will just say, “I don’t know.” But Lil D will actually hold up the amount of fingers that he thinks equals to the amount of times I told him something. Either way I am left staring at them with a blank face.

4. Wait until your father gets home!

OK, I know this one is supposedly not good. But when you have been playing the bad guy all day, sometimes it is relieving to give the job over to Dad. Even though he is innocently at work and has no idea the job that is in store for him when he gets home.

5. Were you born in a barn?

My parents said this to me when I would leave the front door to the house open. I never knew the exact meaning to this question. Is it because barn doors are frequently left open? Maybe someone can help me with this one.

6. Skin a Cat

This is a weird and twisted one. Maybe my family is the only people who use this. Whenever my Grandmother was undressing me, she would pull my shirt over my head and in a sweet voice say, “Skin a cat.” I thought it was funny as a little kid. It was not until I was older that I realized she was comparing undressing me to pulling the skin off a cat. I leave this phrase with Grandma.

7.You look like a dying duck in a mud hole.

This is another one of Grandma’s favorites. She would say this to us when we were sick. I might have said this once or twice. Sorry kids.

8.We are not heating/cooling the neighborhood

This was another thing that was said if you left the door open. “Where you born in a barn?” Usually came before or after this particular phrase. I have said this to my kids, and I am not really sure if the get what I mean.

9.Look what you did!

I am guilty of saying this to my children. If my son for instance writes on the wall, was he not just looking at it? Does making him look at it again make it any more definite that he has written on the wall?
In my mind it does, so I say it.

10. I am going to throw you in the garbage.

This is another weird one. This particular saying is used on toddlers in my family. Wait, before anyone makes a call, let me explain. When you play the, I am going to get you game with a toddler and you catch them you say in a sweet toddler talk voice, “I am going to throw you in the garbage." For some reason they think this is funny and get a good laugh out of it. I have used this in front of my mother-in-law. From the look on her face I don’t think she thought this was the greatest saying in the world. Maybe you have to be from a crazy family that talks about skinning cats to fully appreciate this one.

11. If you eat too much sugar you will get diabetes

This one belongs to my Husband. He used this in effort to keep our kids from eating too many sweets. I have to say I do not know if eating a vast amount of sweets will make you a diabetic, but I don’t think having one or two Little Debbie’s will be the deciding factor if you are going to get the disease. Lil D would ask me about it every time I gave him a treat. I had to put an end to this one. It made the boy a little too paranoid. Now we just use the saying, “No more treats.”

12. There are starving children in Africa…

As I child I would have this said to me if I did not eat all my dinner. I do think it is very important to teach your children not to waste food and that they are fortunate enough to even have it. But this saying only works well on certain kids. Miss would feel horrible about the African children and eat every bite. Lil D on the other hand would probably tell me, “Put mine in a box and send it to them.”

13. Don’t talk back to me. (Plus I added others for your enjoyment)

This is how a saying like this would play out.
The child has left the door to the house open while the heat/air conditioning is on.

Mother~”Close the door, were you born in a barn?” “We are not heating/cooling the neighborhood.”

Child~”Mom, you know I was not born in a barn, you were there.” “Leaving the door open for a second will not cool/heat the neighborhood, it will take a lot more than our heater/air conditioner to do that.”

Mom~”Don’t talk back to me.” ‘How many times have I told you to shut the door?”

Child~ Staring at Mom.

Mom~”Well, how many times.”

Child~”You said not to talk back to you.”

Mom~”You just wait until your Father gets home!”


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thursday thirteen